Next Gen Movement – Navigating Academic and Peer Pressures with Kingdom Identity

In his article, Ps Norman Wong explores perspectives on how celebrating uniqueness, creating safe spaces, and commending effort can anchor our children’s identity in Christ.

Children nowadays face immense pressure from all sides, whether they are academic pressures from school or home, or social pressures from friends and classmates. Many would agree that children in this generation face way more stress than past generations. As leaders and parents, we have to disciple them well so that they can grow up to be mature, steady, courageous disciples who would live their lives for Jesus. Part of discipleship is equipping them with the Word so that their faith and identity are firmly rooted in God, enabling them to stand firm through all that they will face in life. To help us understand this better, we can turn to Jesus’ example of how He received the children in the Gospel of Matthew.

Rooting Identity in Divine Acceptance
In Matthew 19:14, Jesus said “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Jesus did not spend time entertaining the children; He made them feel accepted. When all the disciples were busy chasing the children away, Jesus accepted the children for who they are. Jesus did not lavish love on them because of their results, and He most certainly did not base their identity on what they could offer Him.

Just like the children then who were rejected by the disciples, our children may face the fear of rejection now from their peers or even at home. Acceptance reinforces that these children are loved not because of what they can do or what people think of them, but who God is and what He thinks of them. Their identity is firm and secure because it comes from a God who is firm and secure. And oftentimes, our children experience God’s acceptance through us: their parents and ministry leaders. It is important for us to understand that the values and practices we embrace at home and in church build and reinforce their identity and help them to navigate the pressures that they face in life.

Jesus did not lavish love on them because of their results, and He most certainly did not base their identity on what they could offer Him.

Breaking the Cycle of Comparison
One thing we must do is celebrate uniqueness. God made every child unique, in His image, full of His potential. Just as God has endowed each of us with unique gifts and personalities, we should recognize and celebrate the uniqueness of every child. The question we must ask ourselves is this: How can we help our children discover who God has created them to be?

Often, children are compared to others, creating the expectation that they must measure up to their peers rather than grow toward Christlikeness. This can happen anywhere: at home, when parents compare them to their siblings, cousins or classmates; in church, when leaders compare them to their peers; and even online, when they compare themselves to what they see on carefully curated social media platforms.

When we help them understand that success is not measured by outperforming their peers, they are freed from the pressure of comparison. We must teach our children to pursue and discern the unique purpose and identity that God has given to them. Just as no two people share the same DNA, no two children are the same, and we must celebrate the uniqueness God has given them.

When we help them understand that success is not measured by outperforming their peers, they are freed from the pressure of comparison.

Cultivating Emotional and Physical Safety
Another important thing we must do is create safe spaces. Children need and have a right to feel safe at home, in school, and in church. Do our children feel safe enough to open up to us, their parents and their ministry leaders? Do they feel heard, seen, valued, and understood? Jesus did not turn the children away; He never made a child feel small and unseen. When our children come to us, what is our posture like? May we never be too busy running programs to stop and acknowledge them, lest they begin to think they are not worth our time. May we also be careful never to dismiss their feelings when they open up to us. Let us build cultures that encourage children to be open with us, to share with us their interests, struggles, challenges, victories, and joys. Talk to them. Ask them about their week. Acknowledge their feelings. Encourage their curiosity. Be interested in their lives. Safe spaces are not only about emotional safety; they also include physical safety.

At the risk of stating the obvious, we must stand up against bullying, especially in settings under our care. The Bible frequently talks about justice, and our children need to see it modeled in word and deed. Do our children feel safe and even enjoy coming home and being in church, or do they approach these spaces with anxiety or dread?

The Bible frequently talks about justice, and our children need to see it modeled in word and deed.

Valuing Progress Over Perfection
Finally, we must commend effort. How often do we validate results, but diminish efforts put in by our children? When a child comes home with an A- grade, the first question we might ask is why they did not get an A. This reinforces a misconception that they are not good enough until they have reached perfection, a standard that even we have not achieved. When a child achieves 90%, do we encourage and affirm the 90% that they have achieved or focus on the 10% that they have not? While there is certainly room for improvement, and we should always seek to do better, the emphasis we place can either build up or tear down our children. Do we subconsciously reduce a child’s worth to the value of their output and results? Or do we see the value in their efforts, affirming them and guiding them to try again?

Jesus welcomed the children as they were; they did not have to prove themselves worthy of His love and acceptance. In fact, Jesus said that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these. Not because they are more productive than working adults, nor because of their intelligence, but because of their simple faith and childlikeness. May we recognize our children’s efforts in the right pursuits, encourage them, and build cultures that celebrate the 90% rather than fixate on the 10% they missed. May we celebrate the child who read the Bible one day this week when they previously read none, instead of shaming them for the six days they did not.

Our children already face many pressures in this day and age. Our role as parents, disciplers, and leaders is not to add to these burdens, but to love and accept them as Jesus did. By celebrating their uniqueness, creating safe spaces for them, and commending their efforts rather than focusing only on results, we nurture and disciple our children in environments where they can grow to understand and discern who God has created them to be. Most of all, may we continue to depend on the Holy Spirit to guide us in discipling our children to put their unshakeable faith in Him, and to live their lives for His glory!

By celebrating their uniqueness, creating safe spaces for them, and commending their efforts rather than focusing only on results, we nurture and disciple our children in environments where they can grow to understand and discern who God has created them to be.

Ps Norman Wong serves as Pastor of the Next Gen at Bethel Assembly of God. He has a heart for the discipleship journey of children, youth, and young adults—from ages 3 to 30—and is passionate about helping them grow into the persons God created them to be. He also desires to see young people empowered to steward their gifts in ministry and service to God. Ps Norman enjoys going on mission trips, seeing firsthand how God is at work around the world.